The Monster Inside
by Darkrise693
Summary: A reader x fiction set after the battle of New York in the world of Avengers. The reader is a young female agent who quit SHIELD after an unfortunate death on a previous mission but is dragged back into the world when Fury calls you up on a case involving rogue Chitarui soldiers and the Avengers become aware of someone messing with human and not-so-human genetics.
1. Chapter 1

The Monster Inside part 1

A phone buzzes, disturbing you from your book, you sit up as the horse underneath you shifts his footing. Sighing, you lean back again, head resting on your horse's withers, feet on his hindquarters and knees in the air. You swipe your mobile and put it to your ear.

"Yes?" You ask simply.

"We have a mission for you (name)." Director Nick Fury replies.

"Really, right now?" You groan inwardly and slide off the dun coloured stallion.

Nick ignores that.

"There is a rogue Chitauri soldier causing problems in Colorado, the details will be sent to your mobile, we need you to take care of it." He carries on.

"How the hell did it get to Colorado? I saw them all die when Stark blew up their mother ship." You say louder now.

"That's need to know." He states annoyingly.

"I have the same clearance as Maria Hill, I think I have the need to know." You say raising your eyebrows despite not being face to face with Fury. "Actually, wait don't answer that. Does the answer start with 'C' and contain 'mental' in it somewhere." You continue sarcastically.

"Compartmentalization, Agent, you should look it up."

"I am not your 'agent' anymore," you snarl, "I quit being your 'agent'." With that you hang up.

"Sorry Desert baby," you say to the horse kissing his silky muzzle, "I will get Sadie to ride you extra-long while I'm gone!"

An hour later you are sat in your white Audi r8 dressed in skinny, black military pants, a low-cut white tank tee, black leather jacket and high heeled aviator boots. Around your waste is a belt made of ammunition and hanging off either hip are two fingerprint controlled guns. Two sword style weapons are concealed between you shoulder blades and one knife is hidden in your boot. All in all you were dressed suitably for the occasion with 5 weapons and a smart phone for contact.

The drive from your home in a secluded private forest in Virginia to SHIELD headquarters in DC (where you would be flown up to the helicarrier) gave you time to think and plan over the mission ahead. The mission consisted of getting information from the locals without alerting the Chitauri soldier to your presence, undercover was your specialty along with combat and espionage which was why you were given the mission. You have also been assigned to work with Steve Rogers and Natasha Romanoff, or rather you were put in charge which would be weird when working with two capable members of the Avengers team. You weren't too worried about working with the Black Widow, you two were friends or as close as that can be in SHIELD, and when Clint Barton had first asked Fury employ her as a spy for SHIELD you had been one of the only two agents to support that. Her first mission for SHIELD had involved working with you and at the prospect of death after you had both been captured and tortured you grew close. In the end you did escape (obviously) but your friendship had developed and you worked together many times since and shared many dangerous and scary situations.

Captain Rogers on the other hand was a different matter, you had heard about his old fashioned charms and gentle persona. However he was a born leader and probably used to giving orders so while being put in charge of him was an honour it was also awkward. You had never actually worked with him on a mission before; you had only been in the background during the battle of New York, helping the police and the National Guard rescue civilians. Since then you had been working as a private investigator in Virginia, having quit SHIELD because, after a member of your team had been killed in a fight, you were haunted by his memory blaming yourself for his death and couldn't face up to working without him. This would be your first mission since then.

HQ was busy this morning despite it being 5:00am. Fury was awaiting you on the bridge and after a short night's sleep and hot shower you decided it would be a good idea to get there early before Natasha and Steve. Applying the finishing touches of makeup to the dark circles under your eyes you exit your quarters and make your way to the bridge. You suspected that Natasha might already be there even though you were an hour early but was surprised to find both of them there before you.

Swallowing your nerves you walk out of the corridor, heels clicking on the tiled flooring and strode right up to them.

"Captain Rogers, I heard we would be working together." You greet him confidently.

"Yes Ma'am, I look forward to it!" He replies giving you a genuine smile that makes you want to smile back. Instead you incline your head respectfully.

Turning to Natasha you smile.

"Hey!" You say simply.

"Hey (name)!" She replies with a subtle smile.

Fury walks over.

"You done with your meet and greet? He asks while you roll your eyes and turn to look at him.

"No, were not done yet, we aren't even on to the customary hugs and kisses, maybe you should join us." You challenge him.

"This isn't a joke, agent." He emphasizes the last word making you give him a cold stare.

"Right, you have two days, one to gather intel from the locals at the last known location of the rebel and the other to find it and eliminate it." He continues without giving you a second glance. "Accommodation has been organized for you," he hands you a screen, "(Name) and Steve, you will share a room at 'Lazy Lays' and Natasha will stay at this motel." He hands her a screen as well.

"In other words this is not deep cover?" You state the question.

"You must not be seen as a three unless you meet at the pre-agreed safe location or when you take the rogue down. Got it?" He says by way of answer.

You all three nod in response.

"Transport leaves at 8:00pm, you will be dropped at the safe location and then Natasha, you will get to your motel twenty -two minutes after Steve and (name). (Name) is in charge."

"You got us up at 5:00am to tell us that our transport leaves at 8:00PM, seriously!" You huff in mock annoyance and walk out. Once you reach the door you hear footsteps and turn around to see Captain Rogers briskly trying to catch up to you. You slow down and wait for him.

"Captain?" You were never great with new people.

He nods at you, "I thought that seeing as we would be working together we should get to know a little about each other, maybe over breakfast?"

"I... look," you take a deep breath, "I don't do the whole 20 questions thing, or breakfast for that matter." You sigh awkwardly.

"Well where are you going now?" He doesn't seem at all put out.

"Gym."

"We should train together."

"Wow if I didn't know any better I'd think you were trying to hit on me, Captain Rogers." You say dryly. The kind glint in his eye disappears at that and you immediately regret saying it.

"I only like to know who I am working with Ma'am." He says turning away. If he was embarrassed he didn't show it.

You stop as he walks on feeling guilty for being rude. He sees that you stopped and turns around.

"Coming?" He asks.

You nod and move to lead the way to the gym.

The helicarrier gym was quite large despite being on a transport vessel and contained workout apparatus, sparing ring and punch bags. You head straight to a treadmill and turn it on. Getting on it you begin with a slow jog to warm up and then move to a reasonably fast pace. You turn you head slightly and watch Steve as he gets onto the one next to you and sets his on to sprint mode. Turning back to your own treadmill you see him look at you out of the corner of your eye and become aware of him staring at you. Self-consciousness was not a feeling you were accustomed to but as he analyses you, you begin to feel slightly embarrassed. Pulling an IPod and head phones out of your jacket pocket you turn it on loud and plug them in, drowning out the noise of the gym with running tracks.

After 30 minutes you stop and breathe deep. Pulling out your head phones you smile coyly at Steve.

"Hey Stars and Stripes, you wanna go a few rounds?" You challenge him.

He looks at you and nods. Walking over to the boxing ring you feign exhaustion hoping he would take the bait. He steps in behind you and walks to the far corner. Facing him you bend your knees and lean down slightly to anticipate his attack.

"Your move!" You hiss.

He moves towards you and you come to meet him. Aiming a simple hit to the left, Steve moves around you trying to find a weak spot. He faces you again and this time you move to him and using a fake kick to the stomach you shift your foot at the least moment avoiding his block and place your foot on his hip, swinging the other foot round you climb so that you are standing on his hips with your hands on his shoulders. Slipping your right leg around his neck you avoid his hands trying to get you off and them launch yourself over his shoulder and drop down his back so that you are hanging from his neck by his leg. Your shift in weight unbalances him slightly and you use it to your advantage, grabbing the back of his legs and pulling his neck down. Releasing your leg hold on him you drop neatly to the floor and flip his leg out from under him successfully causing him to fall to one knee. You use this chance to get up onto your feet and face him again, that move had been more for show than to actually do anything but the admiration in Steve eyes made you smile.

"I haven't seen that before." He says

"It's a little unconventional and can be quite messy if it is not done right but it is effective, especially with a knife." You smile coldly.

Your sparring session lasts about an hour with both of you fighting equally despite Steve's heighten strength and speed. By the end you are breathing hard but as you look over at Steve you see that he is barely tired and only a slight sheen of sweat over his muscular arms shows the long fight you had just had. You decide that that would conclude your workout, not wanting to tire yourself out before a mission.

You slip out of the ring and grab your IPod from the corner where you had left it. Feeling a little thirsty you head towards the door but catch yourself, remembering your manners you turn back to where Steve had exited the ring.

"I'm heading to the canteen for a drink, you wanna come?" You invite him.

"Sure." He replies and with that you both leave.

The canteen was quite small, most missions did not involve staying on the helicarrier overnight so there had been no need to include a large eating area in the plans. However to say that the food was limited was an understatement. Everything was all healthy food, high in carbohydrate for energy. This did not bother you, you never had breakfast nor did you indulge in unhealthy food but you did wonder what all the young navigation staff ate.

Turning to the drinks bit you grab a bottle of water and place your finger on the fingerprint scanner to pay. (Yup, SHIELD use your fingerprint for you to pay for food, they are that cool.) Steve comes over having bought food and the two of you grab a table.

"I thought you didn't do breakfast." He says nodding to the water bottle in your hand.

"I don't, this," you hold up the bottle, "isn't breakfast."

"You should eat something though, we just worked out and we have a mission and you are missing the most important meal of the day." He looked concerned.

"Well I never have breakfast. I used to do more training than this every day and I am still alive. Anyway what are you, my health advisor?" You raise your eyebrows.

He holds your gaze levelly before you roll your eyes, get up and grab an apple from the fruit basket.

"Happy now?" You ask sarcastically. He ignores that.

You sit in silence for a few minutes, you munching your apple and Steve eating his healthy breakfast. You begin to feel a little uncomfortable and regret your previous snarky comments. After a while Steve finally speaks up.

"You and Fury get along well?" He looks curious. You sigh knowing where this would lead.

"I don't take orders very well, as you've probably noticed. Director Fury is very good at giving them and giving them often. Also he is one of the two people who know about my past and I don't trust him for that." You reply cryptically.

Steve thinks this over and then answers.

"You don't trust people who know you then?"

"I don't trust people full stop." You reply.

"Why?"

"Am I being interrogated?" You look up at him your eyes glinting.

"No." He stares back equally.

"I don't like to talk about my past." You look away to avoid him seeing the ghosts hidden behind your eyes.

"Ok, well your file says that you were born in Scotland and lived in England, what made you want to come to the USA?"

"You read my file?"

"Like I said, I like to know who I am working with." He replies evenly.

You shrug.

I don't know, Margaret Carter did it." You reply nonchalantly. Steve looked at you strangely when you said that. You knew you shouldn't push but the look in his eye made you want to know.

"She meant something to you?" It was more a statement than a question but it made him look away.

You grab his empty plate, your empty bottle and apple core and take them to the bin. When you come back he had already left. You feel guilt knot in your stomach but remember that he had also asked personal questions of you.


	2. Chapter 2

The Monster Inside part 2

It is 10:00am and you are sat on your bed with maps of Colorado splayed out. With a tablet on your lap and a mobile in your hand you dial the number of your friend Sadie. It reaches voicemail.

"Hey Sadie, it's (name), I know you already rode the horses today, but can you ride Desert out on a hack, I promised him one but I was called away, he doesn't like being cooped up in the stable. Thanks." You really needed someone normal to talk to, especially after your awkward conversation with Captain Rogers. It couldn't be helped that Sadie wasn't around. The most likely thing was that she was actually riding your horses at that minute.

Dropping the phone on the bed you look over the maps again to make sure your plan was effective.

12:00pm, 8 hours before transport leaves. You had already gone over your plan 100 times. It consisted of arriving and having the night to 'unpack' and 'relax' as if you were on holiday. You would then wake up in the morning and go into the small town in which you were staying and try and find out information from people. You had considered going to a ranch or rodeo ring to see if the local 'cowboys' knew anything but that wouldn't have been fair on Steve as he had no experience with horses. Guilt rose up inside you like flames whenever you thought about him. That was not good, you never made attachments in your line of work, especially after what happened last time.

Instead of trying to get information from 'cowboys' you had asked Fury to book a tour around some of the sights in Colorado, tour guides would know all the gossip. In the evening you would go to a local bar and get information that way. Then you and Natasha would meet at the safe location, swap intel and go back to your respective motels for the night. In the morning you would meet at the safe house and then find the Chitauri rebel that was causing SHIELD so much trouble. Natasha would be working separately but you had no idea if Captain Rogers would agree to the plan. Oh well, improvising was another talent of yours.

13:30pm, 6.5 hours before transport leaves. Lunch. You had hoped that by going slightly late you wouldn't meet anyone, you really weren't in the mood for a chat.

Sadly the canteen was quite busy, apparently all the staff not working liked to have their lunch at half past one. You join the queue for food trying to look inconspicuous. Quickly picking a fat free yogurt, another apple and a glass of orange juice you pay and grab the seat nearest to the door.

"You really don't eat much, do you?" A strong voice makes you jump.

You turn to see Captain Rogers standing behind you, a tray of food in his hands.

"Captain Rogers." You smile slightly but the guilt in your stomach threatens to wipe it off your face.

"Please, you can call me Steve."

"Ok then, Steve, don't call me Ma'am, it makes me sound like an old woman. Call me (name)."

Steve nods at the chair opposite.

"May I sit?"

"Yeah, no one else wants to sit with me, feel free."

"I feel like we got off to a bad start (name), I didn't mean to be intrusive." He says tentatively.

 _So Margaret Carter did mean something to him._ You think but do not say anything.

"I guess we both have skeletons in our closets." You reply by way of an apology.

After lunch you feel much better as you seem to have 'made up' with Steve. Still, you knew nothing about him and were a little unsure of working with him in the field even if he was nice enough now. Not to mention this was your first mission since your team member had been killed in action. You sat on your bed again, though it was much tidier now. You pull your guns out from the holsters around your hips. You then slide a small case from under your bed and begin to methodically clean your guns. This helps to calm your mind and focus, plus you like your gun being clean.

16:00pm. 1 hour till the transport takes off. Carrying a medium sized duffel bag containing your weapons and some overnight provisions you quickly survey the room. You make sure that you haven't left anything in the room before shutting the door and making your way to the transport deck. A Quinjet was waiting for you but no one seemed to be around. You secured your bag to the inside of the jet and pulled out your phone again. Sadie had texted you.

Sure thing hon, have a good time wherever you are don't worry about your kids they'll be fine. Xx

You loved how Sadie referred to your horses as your children. You deleted the message for security and sent details of meeting arrangements to Natasha's phone.

Outside you could hear voices. Fury and Steve.

"Keep an eye on (name), she can be a bit of a handful and she hasn't been in the field since the trauma she suffered on her last mission. She's in charge though." That was Fury's voice.

"Why would you put her in charge if you are worried about her state of mind?" Steve asked.

"She was a very capable agent before her trauma and also very aware of the threat that her and her knowledge presents, by putting her in charge she will think she is in control and it is easier to keep an eye on her.

"She seems fine to me, sir." Steve defends.

You rise and stand at the opening to the jet, lips pursed and arms crossed anger colouring your cheeks.

"I knew Fury put me in charge just so he can keep control of me. He doesn't trust me to keep my mouth shut. What has he told you about me?" You question keeping your voice level.

"He hasn't told me a thing about you, (name). Steve replies indignantly.

"Well he just told you to keep an eye on me. I'm not a disobedient child, I don't need people to 'keep an eye' on me." With that you get up and sit in one of the pilot seats putting on head gear and a seatbelt. Conversation over.

The two actual pilots walked in and saw you sitting in the driving seat.

"I don't think you should be driving, Miss." One said.

"Let her fly." Natasha said walking in dressed in leggings, a pale brown tank tee and a cream leather jacket.

After synching and securing ear pieces the group set off, you flying with a rather indignant pilot sat in the passenger bit to fly on the way back. The anger at Fury's comments about your previous 'trauma' had faded only slightly and although it wasn't Steve's fault you really hated being treated like a child. Fury was the last person you thought would underestimate you, hell he put the Avengers together and everyone else underestimated them. You knew that you shouldn't let it get in the way of the mission, you and Steve would be sharing a motel room after all.

After landing about 12 minutes from the little town of in Colorado you were presented with a set of motorbike keys. Steve smiled.

"The bike's parked out the back." Came the greeting from the SHIELD agent receiving them. You wander out the jet to the back of a small house and see a large-ish bike parked on a quiet road. Smiling you throw the keys to Steve.

"You want to drive?" He catches the keys easily thanks to heighten reflexes.

You slip onto the bike behind Steve and wrap your arms around him. Heat rises to your face as your hands brush past his hard abs. Ignoring the feeling you relay directions to him and then he drives off.

One thing you always liked was speed, the feeling of weightlessness and the wind in your face it was so exhilarating. Sitting on the motorbike with Steve was even better but you disregarded that fact. Unfortunately the journey ended all too soon and you stopped outside a dingy looking motel reading 'Lazy Lays'.

"Wow, Fury doesn't like to go all out on accommodation, but at least it's authentic." You point out.

Parking the motorbike you register and enter your room. There was not much light although it was around 9:00pm but the single bulb in the centre of the ceiling did little to illuminate the room. Dumping your duffel bag on the bed you head straight to the bath room. This too is rather small but that isn't important. You analyze the room checking for recording devices or 'bugs'. Moving to the main bed room you do the same.

"We're all good, are no bugs here accept our own." You call out to Steve who had taken his wash stuff to the bath room.

Now that you can relax you sit on one of the beds and look around the room. This time you see the décor. The walls are a dim shade of cream with one photo of a cowboy on his roan coloured horse. Your mind flashes back to a similar room a few months earlier.

…flashback…

 _"_ _This'll do wont it (name)? Fury doesn't go all out on accommodation though does he?" He laughs and turns his warm brown eyes to you._

 _"_ _It's not that bad, I mean you could get used to the damp, and maybe the insects. But we have one thing to do and one thing only." You reply._

 _"_ _Oh (name), always so focused on the mission, you should learn to let go." He laughs._

 _"_ _We are SHIELD agents, not teenagers. Our target needs to be taken down before he kills someone else." You say seriously now._

 _"_ _Yes but you still need to relax, it helps if you aren't so tense." He becomes serious as well._

 _"_ _I am just focused not tens…" You laugh as he chucks a pillow at you and ducks for cover under the bed._

…present…

You feel a tear roll down your face and rub it away before Steve sees. He comes out of the bathroom and looks at you.

"You ok?" He asks.

"Mmm-humm." You reply trying to look natural. Acting was a gift and Steve seemed convinced by it.

"So, we have two choices. One we can go to a bar tonight to get info or we can do that tomorrow." You ask to change the conversation.

"Tomorrow, we should make sure we have a lot of time to do it. We should get some food though."

"Ok." You hand him a couple of takeaway menus that had been lying on a table. "Take your pick."

"Are you not going to choose?" He asks accusingly.

"I'm not hungry."

"You need to eat. So which would you prefer," he glances at the menu, "pizza or KFC?"

"Seriously, do you know what is in them?" You look at the menus in disgust. Steve shakes his head looking slightly confused causing you to laugh.

"Ok, KFC, and I won't tell you what's in them if you don't tell my manager that I ate this rubbish."

"Deal, but what manager?"

"Oh right, horse riding, when I compete I need a manager and she is big on health and eating healthily. She hasn't had a takeaway since she was 12 and she is now 54."

Forty-five minutes later the knocker on your motel door sounds. Quickly grabbing a gun from your bag you hold it in your pocket and open the door slightly. The artificial lighting outside reveals a grumpy looking delivery man, he very happily hands the food to you in order to take the money and leave. By now it is around 9:15pm but eating late was a common occurrence on missions and your body clock was messed up enough from midnight gallops through the forest behind your house on one of your four horses. You place the food on a table and slip your gun back into your duffel bag.

Although small, the motel room did have a sofa and a TV but no table and chairs. Balancing the food on the arm of the sofa you walk over to where Steve is sat on one of the beds on his laptop. His notebook is laid out by his side. Interested you kick off your combat boots and sit on the bed beside him. This was some feat as the bed was quite small but you positioned yourself carefully so that you could see the screen.

"Youtube, huh?" You smile.

"People have been giving me all these songs to listen to so I thought I might look a few up." He replies still staring the screen.

The video was buffering which might have been a saving grace as you looked at the name of the song.

"Anaconda by Nikki Minaj, oh god Steve don't look at that!" You burst out laughing and then reach over him to pick up his notebook. "You don't mind do you?" You ask before reading the list when he shakes his head. You grab the pencil on the bedside-table and cross out a few of the items on the list.

Anaconda-Nikki Minaj

JLo and Iggy Azeala

Wiggle- Jason Derulo

Wreckingball and Don't Stop- Miley Cyrus

"Who told you to look up these?" You ask grinning.

He looks at you with interest now having seen you cross them off.

"Stark." That makes you laugh even more.

"He's messing with you." You finally manage to struggle out between gasping and laughing. "Don't look the songs up, they are not the nicest portrayal of women. You say more seriously. "Come on food's hear."

You eat your meal on the couch in front of the TV, not something either of you do normally, not even watching the TV. Despite being unhealthy the food wasn't that bad and you and Steve talked about things from the past that had changed a lot.

The TV program ended and Steve reached passed you to get the controls. As he did so his hand accidently brushed your stomach. You were only wearing a thin tank top. You tensed instinctively, the last person to touch you there also stabbed you there. Steve's touch was electric, it sent sparks up your body and made you blush deeply. Steve drew his hand back sharply.

"(Name) I I'm sorry, I d-did- didn't mean to…" He faltered his embarrassment and nervousness evident.

You turn away to hide the colour rising rapidly to your cheeks,

"Forget about it." You say a little too coldly. This was not how it was meant to be. You couldn't fall in love with anyone. You couldn't trust anyone. Not after what happened last time.


End file.
